Adventures in Motherhood

location: Home

mood: content

Most parents have those funny kid stories.  You know the ones - "you're never gonna guess what Little Joey/Susie did/said today...", followed by a cute anecdote that I'm sure was funnier when the parent was there.  I usually don't have many of those stories.  I think it's because I'm too tired or because I realize that other people aren't going to see the same kind of funniness (did I spell that right?) in the story as I do.  Nevertheless, I wanted to share a few funny stories because I'm a mom and that's one of the many things moms do.

Are We There Yet?
This past week we all went to Dallas, Texas to visit with my parents.  The flight from Boston to Dallas is about 4.5 hours.  It's a long flight even if you're traveling without a toddler.  I do think that airlines have removed just about any comfort from their planes - the seats are closer together; the cushioning in the seats is thinner; only drink service is provided for free (but you can spend $3 on a candy bar! grr...) - all in the name of cost savings.  Anyway, our Boy Wonder Caleb is a pretty good traveler.  He doesn't like waiting in lines at the airport, but he so far has been reasonably well-behaved on airplanes.  I am certain I have now jinxed any future flights.

ANYWAY, the flight to Dallas is wicked long.  I get bored after 3 hours in the airplane, which is why I tend to sleep on planes even in the middle of the day.  Sleep seems to make things go more quickly.  BWC does not seem to share this philosophy.  About 1 hour into the flight, I hear from the seat next to me, "Ah dahn."  BWC has declared our flight over.  I explain that we have a long flight and that the flight is not all done.  2 minutes later - "Ah dahn."  I tell him that we are not in Texas yet and that we don't want to land in upstate NY or PA or wherever our plane is.  In response, BWC again states "Ah dahn," this time with more certainty, as though I didn't understand him the first 2 times.  I decide to employ my favorite parenting strategy - sarcasm.  "Yes, Caleb, you and 200 other people."  The declarations take a hiatus for another hour or so.  I think this is Caleb's way of asking "Are we there yet" because he repeated himself on the flight home - before takeoff.

Cookie, Cookie, Cookie
Prior to the visit at the grandparents, Aaron and I weren't sure that BWC understood the difference between yes and no.  Well, we knew he understood when we would say no (tantrums verified that!), but he seemed to use the words interchangeably when we would ask him questions.  We would ask him if he wanted Cheerios, he would say no and then whine when we put the box away.  We would tell him, "Oh yes, you do want Cheerios" and pour him a bowl.  We had the following conversation many times after feeling frustrated at his no meaning yes.

Parent: Caleb, can you say yes?
Caleb: no... (with upward inflection)

Apparently, BWC has figured out the difference between yes and no.  Here is the evidence.

When you visit grandparents, the grandparents will be much more generous and laid back than they ever were with you when you were a kid.  It's their job to spoil your child.  My parents are pretty reasonable in their degree of spoiling.  My mother has saved every Happy Meal toy from my childhood, every stuffed animal, every tradeshow gadget that she deemed somewhat safe - all for future grandchildren.  My mother also is the queen of kitsch and so has many noise making, motion sensitive holiday things to "stimulate" my active child.  And last but not least, she will buy extra junk food because she seems to think that my DH Aaron and I want this.  Personally, I think she is looking for an excuse to buy sugary stuff, but we all are guilty of eating too many cookies and snacks while at my parents' house.

Like any typical grandmother, my mom gave Caleb a cookie.  Caleb was delighted.  She then asked him to take a cookie to me.  I looked at her as though she had sprouted a third arm and second head.  When I asked her why she was giving Caleb a second cookie, she said she was asking him to bring it to me.  I explained that I would not get a cookie this way, and she disagreed by claiming that Caleb was a good helper.  I still snort when I think about this.  As expected, Caleb considered which cookie to eat next.  Of course, the cookie with a bite was not as good, so he nearly tried to eat what should have been my cookie.  I decided to play on his supposed helpfulness.

Me: Caleb, would you bring me a cookie?
Caleb: No.
Me: Caleb, Grandma asked you to bring me that cookie.  Please bring me the cookie.
Caleb (more adamantly): No!
Me: Caleb, that's not nice.  Bring me the cookie.
Caleb (turning away from me): NOoooo!

My DH Aaron basically repeated the conversation, as did my mom.  My father looked on and laughed.  I decided the upside of the situation was that we now know that he understands yes and no.

Yummy
Caleb also understands the meaning of yum and sometimes will declare "Yum!" when eating something tasty.  While in Texas, he often said yum to new foods my mom had made "especially for him."  I would reinforce this realization by letting him know when other foods were yummy so that he would try a bite of something new or perhaps less appealing to the discriminating toddler palate.

When we returned home, Caleb was ecstatic to see familiar surroundings.  He ignored eating for most of the first full day we were home.  By dinner, I figured he was hungry, so I set out to find something that would grab his attention.  I knew that macaroni and cheese would be a sure winner, but I wanted to find something reasonably healthy too.  Since he had loved refried beans in Texas, I decided black beans might work.

I served up the macaroni on one part of his plate and the beans in another part of the same plate.  As expected, the macaroni was huge hit (especially since DH added a 4-cheese blend to the cheese powder).  I encouraged BWC to try a bite of a bean.

"No."

When I served seconds of the mac n cheese, I mixed the beans with the mac.  I figured he might not eat all the beans, but he surely would get a few.  A few is good enough in my book.  Instead, he became quite adept at shape sorting.  Macaroni into the mouth, beans to the side of the plate.  OK, he might have eaten 1-3 beans total.  So I tried to encourage him to eat a bean.

Me: Did you try a bean?
Caleb: No!
Me: May I have a bean?
Caleb: Yup.
So I eat a bean.  It's a good enough bean, even without anything on it.
Caleb (after watching this, looks right at me): Yum!

Apparently, reverse psychology works in both directions.

location: Home

mood: lonely

My schedule is pretty simple these days.  Monday I have a 30-minute swim class for BW in the morning.  Tuesdays and Thursdays I have no scheduled plans, though I usually get together with my dear friend Josh (abbreviation TBD) on one or both of those afternoons.  Fridays I have a class in the morning, spend time with DHAaron, and rest a bit.  Wednesdays are for mom group.  So I thought.

Back in April and May, mom group met at Mt. Auburn Hospital.  It was a group we new moms signed up for (and paid for) in hopes of meeting other new moms and getting some support as we entered momhood.  The group was scheduled to last for 6 weeks and we decided to keep meeting on our own.  Fast forward to December and January.  Since December and January (yes, the holidays - as though there are no other holidays), the group has had trouble getting a critical mass to meet.  Nap schedules, visiting friends and relatives, getting sick, and lots of other perfectly valid reasons have caused the group's numbers to dwindle.  During this past week, I have looked forward to mom group because BW is finally healthy again.  I was so excited about the group meeting that I offered to host.  1 person was able to make it during a 3-hour window.  *sigh*

I wanted to get a parenting reality check from my mom group about raising a kid these days.  I had questions about nursing/weaning, sleeping, discipline, attachment, etc. etc. etc.  I've been vacillating between feeling like I'm doing an OK job and feeling like I'm a cold and heartless parent.  I don't wear my baby in any sort of sling/carrier - he never really liked it.  I don't co-sleep with my baby because I need uninterrupted sleep in order to function during the day.  My baby sleeps through the night over 90% of the time, and we achieved this through a modified CIO (cry it out) technique.  My baby is 10 months old, and I'm still nursing him about 4-5 times per day.  I don't have a weaning plan, but I don't want to be nursing him during the day when he is over 1 year old (give or take a month or 2).  I don't want to be nursing him at all when he is over 2 years old.  I let my baby explore the house with some freedom, though rarely unattended.  Sometimes he gets hurt doing something which I can tell is clearly a bad idea.  I think it's important for him to learn boundaries which Mother Nature has in place.  For these reasons I wonder whether I'm doing an OK job - and I haven't even mentioned food (oy, that could be an entire post in itself).

On the other hand, when he gets hurt, I go to him quickly and comfort him while making sure that the hurt is not too serious (read: no blood, no swelling, etc.).  As I comfort him, I empathize with the pain and explain that things don't always work out the way we would like.  I stay at home with my baby most of the time.  I teach 1 day a week, and I take a class 1 morning a week.  My husband watches him during these times.  I think this is good for everything, but I sometimes wonder whether I should be giving my child a chance to interact more with other kids.

Anyway, I wanted to be with my mom group because I thought that I might get some validation from them.  They have kids about the same age as BW.  We are going through similar developmental phases at the same time.  They would have been a good resource for me, in ways that my friends without kids just can't be (even with their fantastic intentions).  But instead, they didn't come.  They had nap schedule issues and other plans and who knows what else.  *sigh*

I love the friends I have, and I want other friends with babies.  Do no other moms need friends?